Jose Canseco Says Aliens Are Teaching Us To Time Travel

So this is a thing that happened. Yesterday, former Oakland Athletics MLB star and steroid aficionado Jose Canseco tweeted out a series of odd statements relating to aliens, specifically about the little gray dudes teaching us how to time travel with our brains without the brain leaving the body. Natch. And he knows all the exact science behind it, too. Just remember to equalize your brain to 42,651 pounds of pressure before trying to travel through time. Though shall not equalize to 42,650 pounds of pressure, excepting that thou then proceed to 42,651 pounds. Fun fact, that’s also the exact amount of weight Canseco could deadlift in his prime. Coincidence? I think not…

Earth to aliens? Former Oakland A’s slugger Jose Canseco is discussing life beyond earth.

Canseco went on a Twitter rant Wednesday saying, “we are in communication with aliens with a very flexible body composition called the AI51. These aliens are going to teach us how to try and travel the brain can physically travel without the body”.

Canseco then turned the conversion to time travel.

“Aliens have been trying to teach us how to time travel but first we have to change our body composition which we are not willing to do we have tried with animals and it has failed.”

Canseco believes time travel is possible, but he claims it puts too much pressure on the human body.

“Time travel puts 42,651 pounds of pressure on a human skeletal structure…. can you detach the brain from the body and equalize the pressure it could be done,” tweeted Canseco. “Our science is totally irrelevant to aliens”.

I know if I were in charge of the most powerful government on Earth, and had clandestine information about extraterrestrials and time travel, I would immediately share those secrets with a disgraced former baseball player and the guitarist from Blink-182. 

 

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