Jets Player Blames Ghost for Drugs in His System

I may be a New Yorker, born and raised, but I’m not a fan of the New York Jets, or the New York Football Giants for that matter. I’m a New England Patriots fan, and man, let me tell you, it’s nice to root for a team that wins on occasion. Anyways, Jets wide receiver Jeremy Kerley has been suspended by the NFL for four games, following the results of testing that found performance-enhancing drugs in his system. When questioned as to why a banned substance would be in his system, Kerley went for the most obvious explanation: a ghost must have done it. A lumbering, muscle-bound, impotent ghost with bacne, I’m guessing.

curly-jeremy-kerley
He’s a victim of circumstance!

New York Jets wide receiver Jeremy Kerley thinks supernatural forces may have led to his four-game suspension.

On Wednesday, Andy Vasquez of The Record noted Kerley “suggested a ghost might have done it” when discussing how a banned substance entered his system.

The Jets announced on Nov. 6 that Kerley was suspended four games for violating the league’s performance-enhancing substance policy. Monday was the first day he was eligible to join the active roster.

Kerley released a statement at the time of the suspension, per the team’s announcement:

“I was shocked by a positive test for Turinabol, as I have never knowingly taken any banned substances.  I am 5’9” tall and 180 pounds, and I have never used steroids in my life.  I’m a good athlete but anyone can look at my body composition and tell that I’m not a steroid user.  While I did not have enough time prior to the deadline to resolve this case, I fully intend to investigate this matter until I am able to figure out what caused the positive test, because I know that I have done nothing wrong.  When I find out what substance was tainted, I will pursue all remedies at that time because this is not right.  I have and will always be a clean player, and I look forward to returning to the Jets to play against the Saints next month.”

Kerley was solid for the San Francisco 49ers last season when he tallied 64 catches for 667 yards and three touchdowns, but he was unable to replicate that type of impact in the eight games he played in 2017 before the suspension.

He has just 22 catches for 217 yards and a score this season and finds himself behind Robby Anderson (848 yards) and Jermaine Kearse (681 yards) in terms of production at the wide receiver spot.

Still, the Jets were just 1-3 during his absence and failed to score a point in Sunday’s loss to the Denver Broncos. They could use another receiver on the outside who can take defensive attention away from Anderson and help open up the aerial attack.

The 5-8 Jets are two games behind the Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers and Baltimore Ravens for the final AFC wild-card spot with only three games remaining. They are also looking up at the 6-7 Oakland Raiders and 6-7 Miami Dolphins and may need the ghost Kerley blamed for his suspension to pull off a miracle to reach the postseason.

Man, I love football season.

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3 comments on “Jets Player Blames Ghost for Drugs in His System

  1. …so…where does he mention a ghost, again?

    I just now discovered your site and have read three articles that deeply push the sentiments of someone akin to an immature dad (from the humor + self-inflated perception of IQ) trying to remain relevant by writing up clickbait fluff that always ultimately results in taking a dump on its subject.

    There’s enough drivel and BS on the internet, these days; please, work on your class. You have an opportunity to nail it, and you’re better than this crap.

    P.S. I might be an intellectual, but even I’ve got street smarts enough not to “boast” about being a traitor to my home team in exchange for loyalty to a team whose fans and notoriously sketchy tactics both ruin the name of the game on their own, let alone together. Seriously: Class. Look it up.

    1. Dear Mr. Intellectual,

      Please allow us to direct your far superior brain to the second paragraph of the quoted article, where it states:

      On Wednesday, Andy Vasquez of The Record noted Kerley “suggested a ghost might have done it” when discussing how a banned substance entered his system.

      Also, in regards to your issue with the humor in our content, allow us to reference our “About” page, which your highly-evolved mind may have missed due to what we can only assume was you simultaneously curing cancer and inventing the perpetual motion machine while perusing our site:

      Being paranormal investigators, we have some unique insights and behind the scenes knowledge about a lot of what goes on in this field. So we tackle the topic with a healthy dose of humor and sarcasm.

      “…healthy doses of humor and sarcasm.” Humor. Sarcasm. Look them up!

      Lastly, we are far from a clickbait site. If you’d like to see a list of our 5 most serious paranormal stories of all time, click here! You’ll never believe Number 3!!!

      P.S. Perhaps your abundance of grey matter can provide some ideas on how to help us remain relevant? I mean, we’ve only been featured on CNN, NBC, BuzzFeed, the Science Channel, the Sundance Channel, NY1 News, the New York Post, the New York Times, The Gothamist, DNA INfo, AM New York/NY Metro, the Village Voice, TAPS Paramagazine, various radio shows, local newspapers, books, and a number documentaries.

      All in good fun,
      The Occult Section

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